I wanna GO HOME!!!

just cribbing...!

They say that in the army
The coffee's mighty fine
Well, it's good for cuts and bruises,
But it tastes like turpentine!
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee, Ma, I wanna go home!

The chicken in the army,
They say is mighty fine,
A drum rolled off the table
And squished a pal of mine!
Oh, I don't want no more of army life!
Gee, Ma, I wanna go home!

The clothing that they give us
They say is mighty fine
Well, me and half my regiment
Can all fit into mine
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee, Ma, I wanna go home!

The salary that they pay us,
They say is mighty fine
They give you thirty dollars
And take back forty-nine
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee, Ma, I wanna go,
Hey, Ma I gotta go,
Gee, Ma, I wanna go home

That's exactly what I feel like doing...GO HOME! It's been more than a month (and a half) now..! With two of my intended trips cancelled, (thanks to Fanoos, and a training) it'd be an understatement to claim that 'am waiting to go home..' Not that staying away from home is new to me, but just that I've gotten used to making frequent trips over the past year..(phew boy!! how time flies..!!).Plus, it's mid-December, the usual sem-end time when we migrate from colder climes to warmer ones (Pilani to Chennai, I meant). Working during what would otherwise have been a vacation is close to committing a crime..I just dont understand why we cant follow a 2-semester norm here too..!! I'd not mind taking tests/onlines/vivas/watever_be_it if it means I can take a vacation twice a year and stay at HOME!!! The worst part is, I cant even apply for leave due to 'demands of the project!' (Whose vacation is it anyway?!?!)So I've got be happy with weekend 'escapades', one of which is a mere two days away....just cant waittttt!!!

My Tryst with Garlic

I grew up consuming 'non-garlic' dishes mainly because none of us, at home, liked garlic. It was at MB Mess that I realized that garlic was a major ingredient in many dishes. In some dishes, the taste and smell of garlic was expertly masked by an intelligent mix of some other component which, I presume, must be some sort of masala. Whatever it was, those dishes were quite 'without-garlic' in taste to me. The important fact about these dishes is that they came by less frequently than the other, more famous 'with-garlic' variety. Although I tried getting used to the taste of garlic (for nearly an year,I think!) I failed miserably. My dislike for garlic only grew!

As I was missing out on 'nutritious food' (read MB Mess dal), which never found place on my plate(due to their 'high garlic content'! of course!) I decided it was time to do something about it. I tried 'de-garlic-ing' stuff.I used to leave out pieces of garlic that were in the dal and eat the rest of it. This approach had a couple of drawbacks. The first and the most important: the dal was still not garlic-free as some pieces were always left out. The second disadvantage was that the process increased the time spent at the mess. There were times when I had rush soon after a dinner/lunch and I could not afford to spend time on 'de-garlic-ing' dal!

I faced a grim situation, and there was only one way out. And that was, to start *eating* garlic! I started viewing dal and other 'high on garlic content' dishes as medicines and consumed them(!!!) with the help of m(j)ugs of water...

I was relieved when I walked out of MB Mess for the last time...'No more garlic!', I thought. The bliss was shortlived. As an intern living away from home, lunch was mostly at the company cafeteria. The smell of garlic was so strong at the cafeteria that it could have been mistaken for a garlic farm! One particular day, I decided to give myself a break and ordered a plain dosa..lo and behold! what do I find hidden in it?!?! no three guesses...there WAS a *large* piece of garlic..!!!

My tryst with garlic....continues..!!

Been There, Done That....

Tinnapatti, is a small picturesque town, some 20kms from Salem (in the state of Tamil Nadu), the existence of which was unknown to many until that Monday morning.

It was around seven in the morning, when I discovered that the train I was travelling in hadn't moved an inch for the last two hours. From where I sat, the name of the outpost 'Tinnapatti' was visible. The place looked splendid in the misty morning, having borne the brunt of heavy rains throughout the night. There was lush greenery all around the tracks and as far as the eye could see. The colour, the chill in the air, and the occasional babble of voices seemed too scenic to be true!

'The train isn't going to move for the next five hours', said S,the chap sitting in front of me, and I was jolted back to reality..'There seems to be a problem with the engine'..'Of course not!' said someone else. 'All other trains are also being diverted on this route...probably no signal for this train..' he offered...None of all this seemed to give any indication as to when EXACTLY we would reach Bangalore.

It was half past eight, when I checked for some signs of network detection on my mobile.. 'That Hch dog!! I'm going to kill it the moment I see it', I thought! 'We can think of options only when we reach Salem', said S. 'It's better to go by train, I heard roads are flooded' said another chap..I realized there was nothing much I could do. Going by bus, didnt seem convincing, so I stayed put in the train hitting the 'call' button every now and then... A passenger train (to Salem) arrived on the adjacent track, and stopped. 'oh good! we have company' said the jolly-looking girl from the next bay! When a green beamed this time, there was an altercation between two gangs,Gang 1-mostly passengers from our train, who didnt want the other train to go...Gang 2-passengers from the other train who wanted the train to go...'So..no one WANTS our train to go?!?!', there was bewilderment in S's voice when he heard the news...'Well, we're not sure if our train is upto it..you know..They talk of engine problems among other things, so the best argument is not to let that train go' said the 'newsboy'!

It was quarter past nine when we heard a shrill whistle. Nobody budged. The small kid in the next compartment had climbed down and was playing on the grass-carpeted area near the track..His mother stood close by keeping an eye on him. Passengers standing outside continued their 'discussions'. Our train inched forward amid cries of joy from those inside the coaches...Those outside hurried back..!

'Salem?!!?! WHAT are you doing there??!' cried my mother when I called her from a booth..The train diversion story followed. 'Take care and keep calling whenever you can!' said my mom before I hung up.

As the train chugged off (really! it had a diesel engine!), the boredom bound everyone together and soon we all found ourselves chatting like old friends. Every five minutes Tinnapatti would find a mention in someone's wisecrack and everyone would roar with laughter. We bought what was left out of the lemon rice packets at Dharmapuri station and rejoiced at our ability to push through the crowd to get hold of a packet. We solved sudoko from three odd papers and discussed everything under the sun. It suddenly was not 'I dont have water!'. It was 'Thank God! We have two bottles for the ten of us..we'll get more at the next station!'.

I was amazed at the way human instinct worked. If the train had reached on time, no one would have even bothered to say a 'hi' to the people in the same bay. It was so business like..you- a passenger; me-a passenger; there ends the matter. But now, there was a new parameter in play, it was not only you-and-me-passengers, it was also that we-are-in-the-same-pathetic-situation! This sort of connected people.

It also seemed to me that there was more optimism and cheer in the air, atleast less pessimism, when people tackle situations as a group. Well, it also depends on the intensity of the situation in question.

'Tinnapatti?!?! Is that what you said?!' asked my dad when I spoke to him late in the evening ..'Yes..I'd Been There, Done That!'

A Conspiracy

Harsha sat with his head buried in his hands. He looked up every few minutes to see what was happening around him. His mother was busy in the kitchen and his dad hadnt yet returned home...The headlines blared from the TV..Harsha looked away and in a fit of desperation, jammed the remote control to switch the TV off..He went back to his reverie.

'Hi da Harsha!' I called out as I entered. He looked up and nodded. 'Not well or something?' Again a nod, indicating a 'no'! I walked upto the kitchen..'Chithi,(Aunty), what's wrong with that fellow?!' I asked her...'He's not telling me anything..You ask him..' So, I went back to where he was sitting...'What's the problem da?'

He got up, scratched his chin and took long strides towards the other room. 'I dont know how it happened!', he said in a sad tone...'It'll be a great help if you told me WHAT!' He looked at me with scorn in his eyes..'You wont understand! Surely not! After all, you've never been in my situation..' 'Ok...so what are you talking about?'...'You'll know soon..if you stop interrupting me!' 'Alright..go ahead!'

'See Anu, I didnt know they'd ditch me like they did! It's soooo unfair..' he said with feeling. 'oh! kids' stuff' I was about to say, but checked myself! 'I mean, it's not like I expected too much, but atleast something for my contribution...' 'Like?!' I asked. He turned suddenly and glared at me, like the villains do in movies! 'You and your antics!' I thought..! He grabbed the newspaper and pored over some article...'Tooo bad..' he said.. 'Teenage blues...' I thought and chuckled! 'Stop giggling!' that was an order! 'I am going to tell you something serious!' 'How would you feel if you worked really hard on a project..and in the end, the others didnt even mention your name..!! I did the ground work for them..and today, they get all the top honours..' He was pointing to the paper..I took it from his hand and scanned the whole page. No mention of any school competition or anything like that...'Which article is it?' I asked...'Dont tell me you're so dumb...' he chided.. 'It's the only article in that page...' I turned the page..It had a detailed description of the Nobel Prize winners' work and the significance of their contributions to modern science. 'You mean THIS?!' He nodded...not a slight change in his expressions...'I see...'I played his game..'It's an international conspiracy..am telling you...!' I burst out laughing...'Please stop this nonsense and go and study...Do I have to tell you that the board exams are just around the corner?!', chithi exploded. 'I knew it...it's a conspiracy..everywhere!!', Harsha mumbled as he went to his study...'What a build-up!! I thought there was really a problem or some such thing!',said chithi, with a look of disbelief!

Memories..

Every morning, at about half past seven, I see the kids in my apartment complex leave for school waving a bye to their mothers...The scene, invariably, reminds me of my school days and the millions of incidents that are mere memories now...One such is here....

It was a Friday evening. The day we had to dissect rats. That day, it took longer than usual to complete the procedures and at the end of it, I was relieved..and exhausted. I trudged along, with a couple of friends and stopped at the end of the street. 'It's not fair we have to repeat that prism experiment..we didnt copy right!' 'Quarterly round the corner and I am scared!!', 'Lara is setting the chemistry paper..' and so on...By the time it ended, it was half past five, a good two hours after the school bell rang!

I was wondering what Unit Test we had on Monday as I climbed up the stairs. I saw the door wide open and heard excited voices from inside...'Must be guests', I thought. 'Anu! you're late' cried my mother..'Dissection and some discussion after that..' I told her and eyed the guests..The girl looked familiar... 'Meet Mr.K, and his daughter' said my dad. He turned to the daughter and said...'You might have seen Anu..she's in class..' 'I know..' the girl said..'12E1 right!'..'Ya right..', I mumbled..'She'd come to my class during the election' said the junior...'Election?!?! I didnt know you were..' she didnt let my dad complete..'Oh..she was hitting the cupboards with plastic bottles and screaming...' she said, matter-of-factly..I was aghast!! A quizzical look crossed dad's face... 'It's the regular kind of campaigning'. I chose the words with care... 'Oh..I was wondering what happened to all those extra bottles I kept in the refrigerator!'. That was my mom. 'My friends wanted some..so I took a few from the fridge!'..The girl was clutching her stomach and laughing...joined by my sister..I glared at her... 'Is the election over? or will you be needing more bottles?' asked my dad. 'It's over and our candidates didnt do too well...'

On Monday, K's daughter came to meet me..'I hope I didnt say anything I wasnt supposed to...' she said. 'Not at all!'

while(1);

An endless wait. That's how I felt while waiting to cross the road.

The vehicles zoomed past me. They seemed to pick up speed just when I thought it was the right moment to sprint across to the other side of the road! No sooner had the red come, the green followed, leaving me no chance to cross! 5 minutes, 10 minutes and now it was going to be 15...

Years ago, I hadnt given much thought to crossing a road. It was a simple series of steps. Look right, left and quickly cross over when you find a sizeable gap between oncoming vehicles. Well, the last point requires a bit of judgement. It takes a little of practice to determine when you can cross and when you cannot. For instance, when you see a speeding motorbike, it's wise to stop. On the other hand, if you were close to a bus stop, and a bus just halted there, you can cross in peace.

On this particular day, however, all tactics seemed to fail. I looked right, and couldnt find a gap, kept looking and looking and looking...When I turned to my left, there were some five others who had joined me in the ritual. I looked at the girl beside me. She gave a bright smile..'Waiting to cross?'. She sounded enthusiastic. 'No..I am counting the number of vehicles which have a number plate with digits that add upto 7', I wanted to say, but thought the better of it and decided not to be rude and merely nodded my head. I noticed two constables standing a few yards away. They were chuckling with delight looking at the helpless lot. In a flash, a fellow ran across, making atleast 4 drivers give vent to their anger!! I stared,scared! I wanted to scream 'Stop' at the top of my voice and walk gallantly across....

In the 17th minute of the wait, as I stepped forward, I found the drivers slowing down...'Ahh...magic!' I thought. The constables' lathis and a shrill whistle had done the trick..! Once on the other side, one of the constables gave a toothy grin. 'I wanted to see how long you guys would wait!' he said... 'Verrry funny!'

20 plus something?

A forwarded mail...

BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING years old...

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute you are insecure and then the next secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Send this to your twenty-something friends...maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion........

Things I don't understand - I

There are many things that I don't understand as much as I would like to! One such is the concept of Fate.

Events/incidents happen the way 'they are destined to', meaning, there is already a defined / structured /definite path meant for everyone/everything. The problem with this sort of a path is that you only 'know'/ have been told, that such a path exists. Details of the path are not 'known'. These details might figured out (albeit partially!) with the passage of time...

Coming to think of it, this seems to be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, when you dont think about it, even during depressing times, and simply be pragmatic: treat problems objectively and make wise decisions. A curse, when you take it as an axiom, assume it to be universally true and keep worrying about your inability to change the course of this 'pre determined order(and nature) of events'.

Finally, it makes sense to treat every situation with the energy and vitality it requires, unmindful of the outcome (of decisions/actions which had to be made/carried out). Even if the outcome turns out to be displeasing, it's best to accept it that way, (am trying not to sound fatalistic!) with cheer, not with remorse and get on with life. In essence, I guess that's what even the Bhagavad Gita says.(I havent read it, my opinion is purely based on what I heard from my grandfather once!)

Well..this still seems incomplete!

Clean Bowled!

This post is not meant to intentionally/unintentionally hurt anyone. No guarantee that it is fully/partly/mostly fact/fiction.

We at office, decided to have lunch outside and ventured to Mainland China. It turned out to be a great experience...! ;) One of the girls is getting married next week, so quite naturally, the conversations revolved around her marriage. 'Your saree is customized, right?' came the question..'yeah..' the bride nodded..'there isnt enough gold in the sarees in the shops!' I stole a glance at her. Gold?!! in sarees?! Somehow, that 'not enough' sounded a little odd!

'Tell us about the dishes you have decided on..' 'hmm..there are about 80 dishes...' I sat up straight. I looked around the table to see how everyone was taking it..Surely, that IS enormous..! To my dismay, there was no noticeable reaction from anyone...'What's wrong!?! had my gang been here we'd have gone oooohs and aaaahs listening to just the number!', I couldnt help wondering!

'Your jewellery ready?' 'Oh yes..! I've got a long necklace with diamond and ruby, a pair of earrings to go with that and of course, bangles..' The spoon slipped from my hand and my jaw dropped! 'You said rubies and diamonds?!' I wanted it to sound matter-of-fact. As matter-of-fact as it could get, that is. But, I clearly needed more practice. 'Yeah.. but that's for the reception. for the wedding, I've got emerald-diamond-gold studded set with two necklaces and a dozen bangles and of course, earrings and..' she continued the list but my mind was busy trying to imagine diamond, emerald and gold separately, and then all of those put together in some sort of a combination to look like a necklace and all the other things this girl was talking about. My brain has never before been put to such a test!! Imagining this was becoming harder than those 3D isometric drawings that I fought with while doing Engineering Graphics!

I was sure there were more to follow. 'Describe what happens in your marriage na..!' someone nearly pleaded...'There is one ritual wherein a pot of rice (uncooked!) is emptied over our heads...that is supposed to symbolize prosperity..' 'In our marriage, we are using pearls instead of rice..' (No point trying to hide my astonishment!) I could bear it no more..'What will you do with all those pearls later?!' Outright silly! I had actually wanted to ask something else, but the shock I was being subjected to, made thinking a pain! 'Actually, there's a dhobi who picks it up..' 'DHOBI..takes those pearls..?!!' I wanted to pinch myself hard..'Is this some sort of a dream?!!' I looked at the others and...SMILED...they all looked as astonished as myself..! 'Ok..if the slot isnt already filled, may I play the dhobi's role in your wedding?!' I offered..
By now, everyone else had been rudely jolted back to reality and went 'oohs and aahs'..!!

'What colour did you say your saree was?' I was determined to find out as much as I could..'well..it's partly sewn in gold..' she said. This was taking me to an altogether different plane. Probably, the application(s) of gold in the textile industry was a lot more than I expected it to be! 'Wont it be heavy?' 'Yeah..heavier with all those diamonds and emeralds and rubies..' 'But, one thing ya..gold is soooo costly! Even a little gold used in the sarees is about 50K' 'hmmm...' My voice was flat! I guess I got used to the sheer enormity of her description,that, all of a sudden, it seemed 'normal'!

Then followed an account of how an aunt of hers had bought a diamond necklace worth twelve lakh rupees just for the wedding! 'Does the aunt have an eligible bachelor as a son?' someone asked and we all guffawed!

Someone else mentioned dowry, and she said she wasnt sure. Her parents wont give a penny as dowry,she said, but they would credit a crore or two into her account! I felt the ground beneath giving way...Looking back, it wasnt the fact that the amount was in crores that shocked me, it was way she said it. I am only used to hearing ' a penny or two / a hundred or two / a thousand or two' in the decreasing order of frequency! Nothing prepared me for a 'crore or two'!

In a flash, it all became clear. I was surely sitting with someone with royal heritage or someone who is a direct descendant of a major business tycoon in India! I wanted to find out which! 'Are you from some royal family?' I blurted out! 'No..my dad runs a flourishing pharmaceutical business'...'Is that called Dr.Reddy's?' I thought I was asking too many questions..Thankfully, the whole gathering found it exxxtremely funny that I was so 'excited' listening to all this...'No..he doesnt own Reddy's but works in a similar unit..' she answered and I fell silent for a while...

All the way back, I was thinking about the description (only 10% of what ACTUALLY happens) she had given...I wondered if I had ever seen a wedding as grand as what she described, anytime in the past..Oh yes! it must have been the small video clipping that I saw on Doordarshan when a politician's adopted son was getting married..! I couldnt get the thought out of my head. If a wedding is THIS grand, how do they celebrate other things, like birthday parties, or diwali or even an engagement!

It was late in the evening when I figured out why the rest of the gathering was calm at the mention of '80 dishes'.. The reason was, there were 100 dishes during the engagement which they had all attended!

A Full Circle

The year was 1990 and I was barely ten. On a summer evening, my dad came home with some guests. He beamed as he introduced them..'They were our neighbours when we were in Coimbatore..' he said..'and this..' he pointed to the tall chap who had come with the old couple..'is their youngest son who is working in XYZ firm..' The elders resumed talking..while my sister and I hurried to our room to get our hands on those comics..! Sometime later, 'You two..!' called out my mom, 'why dont you help me bring these cups of coffee?' and handed each of us a hot cup..! The tall chap was sitting closest to the kitchen, so I thought of giving him the hot cup and making a quick exit so I could go back to my comics..I went over to him and said...'Uncle..please have a cup of coffee!!' A hush fell..My dad's laughter killed the silence..'Oh oh!! you called him 'uncle'! poor chap...he isnt old enough yet!!' said my dad amid peals of laughter from everyone...! 'That's ok..!' 'uncle' said...'I'd better get used to kids calling me that way from now on..'!

I was visiting an uncle of mine, on a Sunday. I met his kids, aged 10 and 6, for the first time. While in the middle of a conversation, the younger one walked up to me and said 'Why aren't you listening to me?!! I've been calling out to you..' 'I'm sorry...I didn't hear my name being called..' 'Of course you wouldn't have..I called you 'Aunty' 'she explained...'Aunty!?!?!' That sounded queer...'You can call me Anu..' I told her..'The problem is, no one has ever called me 'Aunty' till now, so am not used to it..' 'That's wierd..' she looked confused..'I dont understand...You are working...but you are NOT 'Aunty'?!!' If that's the logic, I've got to start getting used to the new appellation, just like 'uncle' ;)!

Think...Think..

What is 'thinking'? How do we 'think' ?! I wonder...

Here's some help at a click!

'What'helps!

'How'?!

Guide to 'good' 'thinking'

Some more thinking..

Me, Myself and My taste(s)!

On a cloudy Saturday, I accompanied a friend to the saree shop to help her (!) choose sarees for her mom. The sarees were laid in front of us and the lady at the counter showed the sarees one by one, opening and folding each with great expertise! I looked around and almost instantly, a bright green..(ok ok..! somewhat fluorescent )saree caught my eye and I asked the lady to show it to us. One look at the colour and my friend's face contorted...'Surely...you didnt mean THAT..!!' 'Why?! Dont you like the colour?! It's bright and looks great!' 'See..people see you walking on the road in broad daylight wearing such a colour, they're sure to go blind..'! I still dont understand why she chose that dull coloured, old looking saree!!

************************************************************

Another weekend, another place..This time it was jewellery! No not the platinum or the gold types..the local, 'funky' ones that these roadside shops make a fortune out of!!
There were different types of 'chains'..and 'earrings'..and wrist bands and what not..I sighed as I noticed different shades of excitement and enthusiasm light my friends' faces..'Ok..you guys go ahead..am feeling a little dizzy..I'll walk over to that restaurant and have a juice..' My attempted escape failed miserably..'Good story..but there's no way you'll feel dizzy soon after lunch!!' sheesh...! 'It looks great on you..' someone screamed...and I turned to look at the group of college going youngsters. One girl was sporting a huge 'chain' which had a replica of a shield as a dollar. Calling it a dollar would be an understatement. It was, may be, a few times smaller in circumference as compared to a real shield! It seemed to be picked up from a set of tribal accessories..! I noticed my friends look at her with disgust..! 'It's bad...' I muttered..'Oh yes..it would have looked good if the dollar was slightly bigger...!' 'Bigger?!!?' I was bewildered..'If it becomes any bigger..you'd have a fractured spine at the base of your head!'

***********************************************************

I looked at the different types of shoes and sandals on display. Nothing seemed comfortable. 'What do you want Madam?!' the man asked courteously. 'Hmm..something that's not too high-heeled, or too fancy, has a soft sole and..' 'Madam..here's something that's made for you..' he beamed. I looked at the pair in his hands. 'No No..I dont want such prints' I said..Another one followed..'I dont like the colour..'
'Too hard on the feet ' and so on...At the end of it all, the man gave up. 'Madam, you have tried nearly everything here and are not happy with anything is it?!' 'There's nothing to my taste' I quipped. 'You have a wierd taste' he grumpled as I walked off..!

Active Site

I am back after a long break of nearly two months. The first month wasnt exactly a break, rather a complete lack of it! I was toiling (!!) on my project report and waiting for the semester to end. Then came the REAL break! I was so pre-occupied with being lazy that I found no inclination to sit and write although there were many 'things' to write!

Now that vacation is over, I hope to make this site active again...and tap the active centres of my brain to tackle new things!

Actively,

Me

Check Post

Checking.........

Feminism

One of my favourite topics....

The most common definition of feminism states that it is 'a doctrine that advocates equal rights for women'.

That was probably how feminism, as a concept, got a kickstart. Later on, various types of feminism emerged, focussing on every aspect of life, and provided the 'feminist's view' on things that varied from education to what later came to be known as 'socialist feminism'.

As with all movements, or concepts that were nourished in people's minds for over decades, feminism drew its own set of 'extremists'. These were proponents of feminism in its most extreme form, advocating a life that totally centered around career often labelling marriage as a 'way to slavery'.

In today's world, where there are many 'liberal feminists', some issues still exist. As far as India is concerned, although women empowerment is observed in many areas, much needs to be done. This might well turn out be a Herculean task , in a society which, traditionally, does not breed feminist virtues.

There are still women who are being deserted and those being simply used as objects of pleasure. A logical and practical alternative needs to be considered to stem these injustices. Education is an important factor. It brings a sense of self-worth and improves one's sense of judgement pivoted on the stronghold of reason. Financial independence provides a sense of security. These two, combined together, lend women the courage to face life head on.

Over the years, the ideals of feminism have been diluted and modified to suit different needs. The cry to ban fashion shows is one such. Ideally, everyone can choose their profession. If the models are fine with taking to the ramps, I don't see why anyone should object. Such variations make the definition of feminism relative wrt people, the society in question and of course, time.

In my opinion, feminism should not be distant concept or an idea awaiting implementation by NGOs or the Govt., it should be a way of thought that permeates through all ranks of society and is expressed by all individuals, be it male or female.

This calls for a drastic change in the mindset of the society. A quantitative analysis of women empowerment does not help the cause of feminism as we perceive it. What is needed is a qualitative assessment of women empowerment plans.

Business as usual...

A realization that life as an intern is gradually drawing to a close has made me want to document as much as possible so I can relive these glorious days..atleast in print!

It was half past ten when I logged on to my machine..I was surprised to see a good number of interesting forwards and spent the next half hour(or was it one hour?!) checking all mails and orkut and what not...I stumbled upon a blog with pictures of Pilani taken by someone who has recently visited BITS...Link after link and I found I was busy doing a number of things EXCEPT my project...

Post lunch, the informative browsing continued, and it resulted in a posting..By then it was already close to three...I realized I hadn't checked my inbox for about an hour...A look at the inbox and I could see what activity I had missed...There was a string of mails..from my roomies...I would not like go into details of the subject, suffices to say that they were considering a (costlier) substitute to a glass of milk, namely, liquor...I broke into a laugh...Their knowledge about all this was limited to naming a few brands, which they had learnt from ads....!! Quietly hidden in that chain of replies..was Jo's..'What's wrong with Anu?! Havent got her usual call yet!'...I could sense the concern..She is one person giving me company in this cruel world of workaholics...A person who believes vettiness is the path to enlightenment..!! (In all these months of PS, I had almost made it a habit to call everyone everyday..soon after lunch...the time when I felt like going home for a good crash! ) The next mail read..'Anu..are you WORKING or something?!'...I smiled as I pictured her astonished face if she came to hear that I had WORKED....I decided it was time to soothe her troubled mind..and mailed her about all that I had been upto...As a mark of respect for our combined state of perpetual vettiness, I sent her the links to all the sites hallowed by my visit... A refreshed inbox showed something new..Aishu was on a hattrick..She had mailed at 4:23,4:24 and it wasnt yet 4:25...Not wanting to waste that precious minute I typed out a mail asking her to complete the hattrick...She responded with a mail..The mail server played spoilsport and sent it after a good 7 minutes delay..'What a waste..' I thought..I could only feel sorry for Aishu for having missed a great opportunity that would have propeled her to greatness overnight!

When all this had died down, I looked at my watch..It was 5:30..I double checked the time..Surely, I couldnt have spent such a looooong time doing NOTHING...!! 'Time to work'..I decided and opened the code that had been troubling me the whole of Friday...I tried debugging a bit, but the errors persisted...Some adjustments here and there..a few if statements (needless, but I dont know why it worked!!) and my code was running like a marathon winner in his last lap....

This is what is called 'job satisfaction'...albeit on a smaller scale!

Passing it on....

When I first landed in Pilani, approximately five years ago, everything seemed alien...right out of a new planet on a distant galaxy. The kind of people, the type of 'food', and all those things even remotely related to a residential institute...

But what made life interesting in those first few weeks was the endless list of BITSian lingo we were introduced to. Classes were to be 'gus'ed and tests would be 'rod' unless of course, it happened to be Sym Log which is definitely 'sac'! 'Insti' is where you would go if you got tired of sitting in your room...Night outs and 'lachcha' sessions were common in 'wings'...and I am at a loss of words if I have to explain the funda behind the 'T' wing , or the 'H' wing or even the 'Pi' wing...Those werent in MB...

The end of the first year signifies a defining moment in a BITSian's life. It's a well earned promotion from being the instructed to becoming the instructor(!). With great zeal, second yearites, 'get to know' or 'just interact' with the juniors..There's more addition to the existing lexicon...Your 'school-ju' is my
'd-ju' and my friend's 'id-daughter'..! 'Sac-out' is what is on all second yearites' lips..as they come to terms to 'assocs' during 'oasis', 'apogee' and find solace in 'going senti'...

By the end of four years, the BITS-tionary becomes part and parcel of thinking, talking, writing and so much more...that you start wondering what words you had used to convey the same meaning as 'gus', before you were initiated to it..!

The lingo-fever is a communicable disease(!!!)...(Usage is an exponential function of familiarity and acquaintance) I was pleasantly surprised one day, when I was talking to my mother over phone, she said..'I gussed work today...'..'You WHAAAATTTT??!' I couldnt hide the astonishment..'You mean you GUSSED work?!?!'...'yes I did..' she said matter-of-factly... 'Oh...my lingos have rubbed on you too..!!' I was delighted.. 'Isn't that ob?! I've been hearing those for such a long time now..!!' That should have prepared me for the other 'ob' things..like how junta in my sister's class were going senti and how lots of fundoos in my brother's high school class made 'zukes' in a recent maths test, while he maxed it..!

Passing it on...truly!

When the phone rang...

The phone at my desk NEVER rings...Everyone calls me on my mobile..and junta here either mail or walk over to my desk, as we interns are all on the same floor!

So, it was a wonderful feeling, when my phone rang...Loud and clear..Heads from other desks turned..My hand just reached the receiver when the ringing stopped as abruptly as it began..!!

Few seconds later, it rang again..I glanced at the unfamiliar number and let it ring for some more time..People walking past my desk gave me a quizzical look..'Never mind..it's not always that my phone rings..' I said to myself!

This time, I was quick to pick up the receiver...'Hi, this is pavan..' Pavan went on...where he worked, what they had installed, what problems they were having...Whenever I began to say something, he simply ignored me and went on and on...At the end of it, I thought he was facing problems with his refrigerator...such was his clarity!

When he couldnt think of anything more to say, he took a micro-second break..I grabbed the opportunity and told him..'I think you've got the wrong number..Who do you want to talk to?!'..'Oh no'..he almost screamed..'Is it something-systems?'..'Wrong number..' I said.. There was no response for sometime..'It's alright..Now that you've heard my problem, do you think you can help me?!'

'Sorry,I have no idea..' I managed to tell him in my near-dumbstruck state!

All work and no blogging...

makes life very boring...!! I didnt realize that a month had slipped by, with unfinished drafts piling on...none of it even close to completion and hence unworthy of being called a post!

I tried my hand at topics that, apparently, seemed to interest me...But, continuity and cogency betrayed me and I ended up having unfinished postings on a good number of these 'interesting' topics..!

I dont want to sound boring but the fact was that I HAD work!! Now that is a joke to all my roomies who have, by now, come to the conclusion that being vetti means being me! It was clearly evident that night,when I reached home, too tired to even utter a word..'What's wrong?!' they all screamed in unison...'Work..! pretty tough it was..! my mentor's given me a deadline to meet..' I sounded helpless...'that happens when you work once in a while..you know..' It wasnt imagination..I surely saw a wicked smile lighting their faces..!

Later next morning, I explained to them, HOW I work..little by little everyday, with enough time to do all the things that an intern HAS to do..! The problem comes when you dont do the other things and just your project!!! (Nothing can be more depressing! )

They werent ready to buy my story...'What I do in a day is equal to what you do in a month..' said J..'I have to attend meetings, have to reply to emails, be always at my desk just in case a customer calls and I have to fix bugs in someone else's code..' Well..what J has probably (intentionally) forgotten to mention, is that, J has lots of 'Days' at office..They call it 'Colour Day', this day and that day...and for everything she has to shop..as she comes home late and as her team-mates also have to shop, they all go for shopping during office hours...so, when they are going out..why not have lunch outside?! So, J n J's team will then decide on where to go, when to go and all that...! They're normally given only a 'short notice' for these 'days'..(so what it's one of these 'days' all the time..?!!)

That was 100% utilization of one day to prepare for the next 'day'! On the 'day', obviously, the whole office (am sure it's only J and her team although she never says so..) is in enthu mood...(c'mon,it's 'the day'!) and so work takes a back seat..!

If it's not one of the 'days'...J is either taking out her boss from the US (and his wife) to Commercial Street, or going to that wonderful movie being screened at PVR (Gold Class) or accompanying one(at times all) of us to do our 'petty-shopping'!

I wonder why J's visting card says..'Technical Engineer'....

This post is fully/partly/not at all fiction...not intended to directly/indirectly hurt anybody's (J's in particular) feelings...!!!

----Just being curious----

So, what happened to Sharlockhomes...!?!?!

Baby Sitting

In all these years, I have never tried (and have never been to allowed to try!) my hand at baby-sitting. It happened when my cousin and his wife had to go out and the baby's grandparents (my uncle n aunt) werent in town. We lived a few blocks away from them and they were more than happy to entrust the 3 month old under my care...!! I was delighted to see my niece, peacefully asleep, with that occasional bewitching smile that only babies are capable of..I hoped she'd play the 'good kid' for another 4-5 hours until her mom arrived...

I left her on the bed and closed the door gently so she wouldnt get disturbed..! I settled down with a book and soft music...Within 20 minutes, the phone yelled..It was my cousin..'Is she fine?!! Any problem..?!'..'None at all..cool it Karthik..I'll take care..'He mumbled something about me 'updating him on her status every half an hour..''Sure..Will do..'I quipped...I heard her crying and went to check what was wrong...The phone in the bedroom had awoken her...I gently patted her and she resumed sleeping...I disconnected that phone..just in case..!

Things were fine for another hour or so..With calls from all relatives who lived in Chennai, wanting to know 'how she was doing..' All of a sudden, my niece let out a heart wrenching scream..and continued modulating it at different pitches...! No amount of pacifying helped..'Must be hunger'..I thought and thrust the milk bottle into her mouth...Her wailing stopped..She was then awake for a while..and I tried amusing her with all those toys that my cousin had brought..!! She wasn't impressed...She looked at me with small, sharp eyes that seemed to predict another wailing session...!

Sure enough, the next round started..I took her out of the bed and held her for a while..! She showed signs of regaining her composure...and then I took her out to the balcony, hoping some traffic out on the roads would distract her...My timing was bad, for, there was a huge water tanker on the main road..honking terribly. This scared everything out of the baby and she screamed all the more...I quickly took her inside...

It took ages to make my niece smile..SMILE...it was worth SO much..basically making a big fool of myself...I 'talked' to her animatedly...Am sure she didnt understand one bit of all that I blabbered...I lifted her up and down, tried playing some songs, played all the ringtones I wished were never composed in the first place and many more...At the end of it all, she took pity on me and treated me to one of those angelic smiles reserved for great occasions...! I let out a sigh of relief..!

She decided to let me rest for a while and fell asleep right on my lap...I sat still, scared to put her on the bed, lest I had to go through the smile-exercise again...After what seemed like a decade, the calling bell rang and I picked up the kid to get the door...My mom had barely walked in, when I thrust the about-to-wail kid into her hands...

'Couple'd Reactions

I am not completely against couples expressing their affection in public . But, they need to draw a line somewhere...An overnight train journey with 2 pairs provided first hand experience on 'couple behaviour induced discomfiture'.

The older of the two pairs had a cute and confused 2/3yr old daughter who kept insisting that there were mosquitoes inside her mouth..! The younger pair showed signs of having tied the knot recently. They would have made an excellent subject for a fevicol advertisement. From the moment they boarded, till long afterwards, they were glued together...This got to a point when it was quite embarassing for the rest of us...'Why do you have to even look at them?!'you might ask..I couldnt help it...Basically, there was nothing else to do..and they sat right in front of me and I couldnt look anywhere else!!! When I tried not looking at them, I ended up hurting my neck !

The older ones, didnt want to be left behind either...They were sitting beside the window and facing each other...Every now and then, the two leant over and talked something in hushed tones and threw their heads back in wild laughter...All the while their kid was making polite conversations with me (LOL!)

Hoping the ordeal would end as soon as the tickets were checked...I waited...The TTI arrived and the older husband deftly handed him their ticket...There was something wrong with the numbers under the 'Age' column that drew my attention, almost intuitively. The lady's age was printed as 22...and the man's 35...Isnt there a limit to these excesses!?!! She looked atleast 27, if not more!..Any Day..!!!! I struggled to hide a chuckle..! I tried making some crazy and quick calculation on approximating her age..(not that it really mattered to me...but, as I said, there was nothing else to do!!!)and decided that she could definitely not be 22..After all, it was HER age...!

I was happy it was all over, when everyone went to sleep...Early morning proved me wrong...At about half past three, the older wife, rudely kicked me while alighting from the middle berth...I decided against letting out a high-pitched, all-awakening, scream, mainly out of consideration for other passengers...She landed on the other lower berth, where poor Mr.32 was snoring...She shook him awake...Their muffled voices interspersed with her soft laughter did more than disturb my sleep...It made me feel like an incurable insomniac!

It was 6:00 in the morning, I jumped out of the train and looked around for my dad who had promised to pick me up...Dad usually came to pick me up whenever I landed early in the morning....knowing fully well, that I mightn't even get up at that odd hour..On a couple of earlier occasions, I had been sleeping in the berth, even after the train came to a halt, when he'd come around, woken me up and dragged me home..! He was surprised to see me totally awake...'No sleep?!' he asked..'Not much of it.. There were a couple of disturbing instances...' Despite the irritation, I was amused at my attempt at intended puns!

At the bus stop

The other day, we met at the bus stop. I stole a glance at him and continued walking, thinking of all the things I had to do...In the evening, as I was waiting for a bus, I saw him again...This went on for a long time..! Every time I saw him,I couldn't help looking into his eyes...those brown,friendly eyes..!

It almost seemed like a story fit for a movie...He would be there when I came AND when I left..I could never make out which firm he worked for...he didn't wear one of those usual badges...Every day,I got used to seeing him as I alighted from the bus and looked for him in the crowd gathered at the bus stop in the evenings. I quickly figured out that his favourite place at the bus stop was beside the groundnut seller...

One rainy evening, as I trudged along holding an umbrella and cursing under my breath, I saw him...this time far away from his usual place. His usual place was taken over by those early-birds who made in time for some shelter when it started raining.

I held out my umbrella a little..just enough to save both of us from the torrential downpour. I realized I was captivated by his brown, friendly eyes..which now seemed fixed elsewhere...

After what seemed like a not-so-long wait, the bus arrived.I knew I had to leave him....He never boarded the same bus as me...Once in the bus, I turned to see what he was upto...He seemed contented in his usual cosy place...his wagging tail said it all....

Indian Hospitality

An early morning train travel is definitely not an enjoyable proposition. Making it to the station on time was my first challenge. I boarded the train and promptly fell asleep. After about an hour, a heavy elbow landed on my back and I awoke with a high-pitched scream! 'I am sooo soorrrrryyyy..!!' It was a deadly-white-coloured foreigner in red coloured near-tattered clothes...'I was trying to shove my bag up there..'she said....I glared at her..! Her books and bags occupied so much space that I found myself in an uncomfortale posture..! Minutes rolled by...Feeling slightly hungry and bored,I opened a pack of my favourite biscuits..I spotted her eyeing the biscuits..!Overcome by a sense of compassion(!!!), I offered her some..She dug her dirty hands deep into the cover and picked up a bunch of biscuits...I noticed the packet becoming less than half its original size...'Where are you from?' my curiosity got the better of me...'Germany...and my name is Christina..and you?'...That was just the beginning...For the next two hours I listened to all that she had heard about India...and how she was 'really very scared of Indian snakes..'! My mind was working on how to get rid of this chatterbox...'Masal Dosa..!!' shouted the guy from the pantry...'Have you tried that?' I asked her with feigned enthusiasm...'No..'she said...I bought just one..for her..'Oh..you arent having any?!''No..am not hungry..!' I said...
The masala dosa didn't look one bit inviting..! Memories of mess food flooded my mind..! She took nearly 45 minutes to nibble the dosa...'Can I have one more?' She asked, pulling out her purse...The pantry was close by and I went with her to buy one...She opened her purse and turned to me 'Oh...I am running short of Indian currency..would you mind paying..?! I'll repay once I land in Chennai!'..'No problem..'I said!
She ate the second with greater relish...!' For the next two to three hours, it was the turn of another chap to listen to her..!! Slowly, the train came to a halt..
'Is this Chennai Central?'..she couldn't hide her delight...'My friend is coming to pick me up...I'll repay what I owe you..!
We scanned the whole platform looking for her friend, who was nowhere to be seen...I spotted my mom, who had caught a glimpse of this dirty foreigner clinging on to me..!! Her glare said all that she wanted to..I turned to Christina and said..'Never mind, that's a treat! I have to leave now...' 'Hmm...talking with strangers..!! Did you give her your address and number too!?!' my mother asked 'Of course not..! am no 2 yr old..! I was just showing 'Indian' hospitality to a traveller..' the dosa story that continued, did not please my mother one bit!! All she had to say was...'Don't talk to strangers...'

What next?

Tired of trying to answer this question! I have never been able to come up with a convincing answer everytime the question was posed...I am of the opinion that people who ask me this question are either jobless or pondering on the same question themselves (they'd surely need 'hints'!)

The first time I found this question completely disturbing was when I was in 10th std. There were countless people who asked me 'What next? Science group or commerce..' Everyone felt the need to know the answer...even the newspaper-wala!

The next time it came back with many times the intensity was after 12th Std. It somehow feels like you are part of some sort of an experiment..everyone wants to know what you do next, so that they'll 'know better when their kids end up in 12th!' That goes down as the worst logic I've ever heard! I am not a sample of the huge Universe! There are sooo many other factors!

After a few years of apparent non-intrusion, the question finds its way back again.... 'What next..? job or higher studies...' The fact that whenever the question is posed it's followed by 2 choices never ceases to amuse me! The 2 are the oft-taken paths...ssttilllll.....

'What next?' seeps down to everything in life...Everyday I come to my office and it's 'what next?'...There is a meeting with the manager...One peculiar thing about these meetings is that it always begins AND ends with 'what next?' It's weekend and again it's 'what next?'. A little respite in the form of semester hols and again it's 'What next?'. And the cycle continues...

It's not that this question is always irritating...It becomes so only when it is asked while the answer is only a vague inchoate idea!! Once that idea crystallizes, what next?!

Malory Towers and an MNC

It was a cold Sunday evening in Pilani. A huge crowd had gathered before the placement notice board. The interview list of the database giant was due to be put up any moment. Someone who managed to find her way through the dense crowd spotted my name on the board and cried out "Rush..your interview is at 6!"...Things couldnt get worse...I had exactly 5 minutes..I rushed back to change into 'interview outfits' and raced to the guest house...(THE place for interviews!) I reached the place 5 minutes late..at exactly the time when my name was called.
The first round was s.i.m.p.l.e! I cudnt believe they were throwing 5 and a half lacs a year for these linked list and binary tree codes which could be found in ANY elementary data structures book...Some puzzles about hen and eggs and fruits and what-not, I met the man at the HR round! Having studied in the same college, aeons back, he spoke more about his life at college...Listening to this was.. painful!!!
A lightening struck and he started off...'Tell me about yourself...' and then the usual ones...'Oh..you did Bio in school?...'he was amused! 'Now where did he get a hint of that..!!' 'Yes'..I said..trying to not to sound very excited..I almost guessed the next question...'Why didn't you take up Medicine?'..and I wasnt wrong! 'Simple! I didn't make a great score in that entrance exam...'I wanted to tell him...Impulsively I said, 'My mom is a doctor..and I know how very tough it is to be one...I didn't enjoy the practical part of it...the burdensome fact that a life depends on your actions kind of scared me..' 'I understand...very tough indeed!' he retorted. Then came another one..'Why BITS?'...without giving it a moment's thought, I blurted out, 'Actually, I used to keep reading Malory Towers in primary school...and ever since I had always wanted to study in a residential institute! in that sense BITS has been a blessing!'...The spontaneity and the content of my answer stunned and amused him at the same time...He rocked his chair and laughed his heart out for a full minute..!!!
'Hobbies...?! apart from Malory Towers that is..' What did this man think?! that I read Malory Towers for a decade or so?! 'Malory Towers was only in class 4..I clarified....after that it's been lots of story writing, embroidery(God knows how this came to my mind!) and of course Classical Indian music..
'Why should I hire you?'...Wow! I KNEW what to say...this seemed like an extempore contest..All adjectives came to my mind and I lost no time in stringing them together to come up with what seemed like a well-thought out answer...!! 'Hmm...impressive...' he said...and asked me..'Any questions for me?'
'Am I going to be recruited?' I shot back! 'I wish I could answer that as quickly as you asked...but I need to consolidate other scores..!'
'Good Night..and Wish you good luck! Nice meeting you! by the way, my daughter reads Malory Towers too..!!!'