www - Wierd Wired World!

The other day, as I reached out to switch off the alarm, my hands felt a wire. Thinking it must the cell phone that was still hooked onto the charger, I pulled the wire...Out came the iPod. I got up to sort things out and all I saw in my room were just wires..in white, in black, blue..That set me thinking about the 'gadget explosion' I inadvertently triggered....The cell phone, the hands-free, ipod, laptop..plus the iStation..all with their own complete set of connecting wires!

The iStation is probably a classic example of how complicated things can get..All the iStation does, is act as a speaker system for your ipod..To set it up and connect all the wires..takes some time and of course, lot of patience. Initially,I wondered why there is so much of logic for just a speaker.Why not make it easy with a plug and play? Why make me spend so much time on figuring out whether that's a 'n' for a nano or a 'U'? Really strange..But, the moment the 3D surrond was on; I realized my time wasnt wasted after all! Still, I would have been happier if it was all wireless..Having so many wires around you isnt a great feeling.. ;)

The wires connect you so much so that you live in a web; quite literally.

Why most recipes are flawed

The simplest reason why most (if not all!) recipes are flawed is due to their inherent ambiguity. Sambhar can me made out of tamarind that is 'about the size of a lemon'. Small lemon? Large lemon? If assumptions are anything to rely on, you'd probably end up making sambhar out of tamarind that is 'about the size of a coconut', all the while thinking it would tend towards the 'size of a 'large lemon''! That's just one example..'Salt to taste' is another misleading term. Whose taste? After I've tasted it, how do I know how much 'more' I need to add to get to the 'required taste'? 'Fry till it turns brown' is an interesting statement. Ok, I'll wait till it's brown, then decide that's not the brown I want, and wait still more; finally ending up messing the whole thing.

There is also the logic that we cant go on standardizing everything, lest we go mad. The ambiguity in recipes lends the creative edge to cooking, and the variety. Imagine what would happen if people starting measuring 'salt to taste' in milligrams (accurately!) and pippetted out water (again accurately!) to add to sambhar or to rasam. It not only takes time but kills the exciting aspect of it; which is, you dont how your dish will taste 'exactly'..

The wise thing to do, in this case, seems to be to keep the 'recipe' as just a guideline and add your own 'innovative' ideas to dish out 'delicacies'. (Definition of 'delicacies' here is subjective!) :)

Culinary gene - Activated!

My culinary skills have never been put to use. Among other things I used to 'cook', the most frequent were maggie 2-minute noodles and of course, curd rice.

I started the 'real' cooking about ten days ago and I've been enjoying it since. It may be a little early to say so; but there it is! The other day, I bought an instant dosa mix hoping to make (and eat!) dosa. I followed the instructions at the back of the packet and ended up having a really aqueous solution of the mix that flowed freely when put on the tava. I added some rice flour, and more and more till I figured what the right consistency might be. But it still didnt work the way it was supposed to. I gave up on dosa and decided to make idlis out of the same batter..Out came more rice flour and lo! the batter really 'looked' idli-ish. Once the idlis were done, I realized I couldnt bite into them. They were so hard. That's when this wonderful idea struck me. I remembered seeing some mint chutney and green chilli chutney kept away in the refrigerator. I mashed up the 'idlis', added mint and green chilli chutney, added salt and I had an idli upma ready. So much for my culinary gene activation!

Most of cooking, as I've come to realize, is based on some very basic things. First, you need to have a spicy ingredient. It could be anything from green chillies to chilli powder to anything else you think is spicy. Second, you need salt. Third, you need to figure the approximate amount of oil (if needed) and the time the mixture needs to be heated. Of course,the important aspect is that you need to have a fair idea of what you want to end up with. It need not be a clear idea but something close enough. And, these factors apply only to the 'regular' Indian style of cooking.

Fingerprinting!

A serpentine queue, the scorching Chennai heat, gossiping aunties, and above all, getting drenched in sweat did little to lift my spirits...Definitely, a hot June afternoon is a bad time for a visa interview appointment! I had forgotten all good manners in my irritation..I scowled at those who brushed past me and didnt even hiss a sorry when I accidently stepped on someone's neatly polished shoes..(Who asked him to wear those anyway..Didnt he know this was Chennai..where we dont believe in things like that!)Anyway, the wait seemed endless. It was not the time for any friendly conversation so I simply kept mum.

After about 2 hrs, someone asked me 'you from Andhra only no!?' My first reaction was to ask her to keep shut, but I felt sorry for the fat lady who was sweating from head to toe..'Why do you ask?' 'Simply..I wanted to find out'...I should not have supressed my instinctive reply!

From the way things were being conducted, I assumed that there was to be a 'fingerprinting' and then the 'visa interview'...Once inside the main lobby,I noticed the fingerprinting apparatus at all the 'interview counters',but, fingerprinting happened at one counter and interviews at the rest. So, when my 'fingerprinting' turn came, at about 4:45p.m, I went and joined a long queue..

One of the assistants called me and said 'come back, ma'm'. We in Chennai draft our own grammar rules (yes..even for English!)and I didnt know whether this assistant was using the 'original' grammar or the revised one. (Revised grammar is usually conversion of Tamil sentence(s) into exact,direct English ones..In this case, 'come back' meant stand further away..'pinnaadi vaa' in tamil) He didnt wait for me to ask him what he exactly meant..So I went back to the place I was sitting...Just then, another assistant came running 'Aiyiyo..enna madam..ore thollaya pochu..Go to fingerprinting; 1:45 appointment no?! Why are you coming back?!?' 'No no..someone asked me to get back to my seat..' I protested..She wasnt in any mood to hear..She grabbed me and pushed me in front of a counter..

Before I knew what was happening, I was standing in front of a lady who tried to speak into the mike and failed miserably at it!!! There are sometimes when you need to think on your feet..There's no time to wait for messages from the brain..! This was one of those..I remember saying 'pardon' distinctly to the first three questions before answering them...'Your fingerprints please..' I pressed hard,harder,hardest..hoping she'll say ok..she kept smiling..I wanted to pound that thing with my fist..After pressing for what seemed like ten minutes, 'That's fine' she said..'you can go home; your visa is approved'...

I collected my papers and sat in a corner..'What's wrong with these people.?!! Why cant they tell me fingerprinting IS same as interview..?? Why tense me so much!!?!' I got up and looked around for the first assistant...'What madam...fingerprinting over?' He asked. 'Listen, I had fingerprinting at counter 10 and interview there itself..' 'Ohh...so fingerprinting fully overaa??' 'Fully?! What fully?!' 'No madam..normally fingerprinting first happens at counter 8 and then at any other counter.. got itaa??' 'ya ya got it..the second is interview right?' I tried sorting things out...'Ayyo madam..it's fingerprinting..that is what I'm explaining, you are not understanding!!' No point.'Ok got it..thanks! bye!'

Minutes later I called home. 'What happened to the interview?' asked my mom..'Fingerprinting over ma..' 'You mean you didnt get it!?' 'No..I got it..but that's how I've learnt to say it!'

Hmphh!!!

I wouldn't have believed you one bit if you told me there's someone waiting to see this piece of news!!! I know what you're thinking now...'How mean!??!...Who can even THINK of saying that about such a good soul like Anu!??!' :(

By the way, I found that link while I was looking through the counter stats..(which I check rarely!) Just goes to show that you do happen to meet pychos like that as well!! Not much I can do about such things! can I? :)

check the screenshot!

Utopia

The dictionary defines it as "An imaginary place considered to be perfect or ideal" and "Ideally perfect state; especially in its social and political and moral aspects".

At a glance,the definitions seem self-explanatory..But,wait a minute!!! Both definitions depend on how you define 'ideal' as...So, is ideal relative? If absolute, what is the one single definition that explains such a state without leaving any room for ambiguity?!?? I wonder...

In case you thought looking up 'ideal' would hold the key; here is how 'ideal' is defined..."The idea of something that is perfect; something that one hopes to attain" and "Model of excellence or perfection of a kind; one having no equal"...which again puts us right on square number zero...(he he!! Indians invented the shoonya, why not use it.?!?!)

'Ideally', what's ideal?!?! :)

That Jerk!

Important: The following doesnt relate my personal experience(s)...Written purely for fun and of course, time pass!

That afternoon, as I refreshed my inbox; a rude surprise stared at me..The subject line in bold red read 'Voluntary Resignation : Approved'.I checked the date,just to be sure that someone wasn't trying to act smart and fool me!! It read 7th April 2006. The mail was copied to three others whom I hadnt heard of..
'Dear Anu', it read, 'We've been advised of your voluntary resignation as per the mails below'...I scrolled down to see the 'mails below' were sent by someone else; who, obviously was vying greener pastures..!

I realized that neither the emp ids or the names were anywhere close enough for a mistake like that to happen....Surely, the jerk who sent the mail was sleeping when he keyed in the To fields!

One half of me wanted to compose a real stinker of a mail with all the 'great words' I could think of, while the other half simply said, 'fwd it to the manager'..The first half seemed to score more points; given the fact that I hadnt fought (!!) with anyone in a real long time (wicked of me...I know!!).. I hit the ReplyToAll button and had barely typed 'Dear XYZ' when I heard my manager calling out to me..'What's wrong!?' 'Someone just mailed to inform me that I'm resigning'...'Fwd it to me!' he said with finality.....

XYZ's reply was :
it was a mistake by over sight.to my manager's mail pointing out the mistake! Huh! over sight?!?!? If that's called over sight...I'm not sure what a real oversight should be termed!! It probably was due to over 'sighting' someone in the next cube!!!

I'd probably have cooled down had the reply been just a sorry..Calling it a 'over sight' seemed to be simplifying the whole problem..(Of course you remember I hadnt fought in a long time!) I decided I would buzz him on the intranet messaging service..and give him a good piece of my mind...

'Hi, I dont think your mistake qualifies as a being due to an 'oversight'....was way beyond all that! Plz make sure this isnt repeated in future...' I keyed in, after considering other 'strong' options..This seemed 'professional'!

the_jerk: 'Yes sure'

WHATT?!!?!?!?! Not even a 'sorry' this time...He was acting as if he was doing me a favour...Before I could gather myself to key in a response..'Ok..I've got to go..Have fun!' the blinking window read....

'you're such a JERK' I keyed in and logged off..!

A Paper

Purely for timepass; Detailed paper will be posted in parts over the next few days!

A model for improving employee productivity with the sole aim of gaining market share in key areas while providing value added services to customers worldwide.

Abstract:

Increasing employee productivity to high levels is the secret to greater returns for a company. Of the many returns that a high level of employee productivity provides, the most important turns out to be that of gaining market share in key areas; a factor that gains added importance in the context of a flourishing economy like India's. This paves way for more opportunities,not to mention the challenges of a whole new dimension.A combination of the challenges and opportunities lead to a different strategic model; every time when a change in the model is considered. This may be solely attributed to the dynamism the market exhibits at different times.This paper presents a novel model that is both innovative and cost effective and achieves unprecedented levels of employee productivity when implemented in the ways discussed in the following sections. The model is based on sound statistical analyses of the factors affecting employee productivity. Data for the study were obtained in numerous standard ways each of which has been explained in detail. The conclusions made from the analyses were incorporated in building the model, the robustness of which will go a long way in making it the accepted norm in many companies. Some examples proving the correctness of the model have also been provided in order to convince more companies to adopt the model.

:wq

Many reasons why this post has ':wq' as the title...The first and by far the most striking one is this: I opened IE to google something and found myself doing a ESC-:wq to close the browser..a reminder of the effect 'work' has had on me..! There are more instances to prove that I've almost become a workaholic.. ;)) My dreams are all OO (object oriented; i mean..). The other night I dreamt that I couldnt mail someone because that person was a private field in the instance of a class...(Now, that's just a dream, so no one can question why I dreamt that way....!)
Another dream that I believe was hinting at something really profound had the following tags;
< life >
< today >
< !-- Something I forgot as soon as I woke up -- >
< /today >
< /life >

I tried wondering what that would have meant, but couldnt spend as much time as I'd have liked to; as there were other tags needing my attention!

That apart, there are a couple (lotsss actually!)of people who just dont believe that am 'working'...'10-12 hrs at office?!?!' is followed by ' THAT TOO YOUUUUUUUUUU' with such emphasis on the second phrase that I sometimes I feel I've to set my image right...someday..! c'mon ! of course I DO 'work' for 10++ hrs a day that too..!

As usual, I have a backlog of half-finished posts waiting to see the light of the day! It was sometime late last week that I realized I HAD to do something *else* apart from just working, working and working...Such realizations every now and then gave rise to 'instant posts' albeit lacking cogency. Those little bugs need to be fixed before I publish the posts here.

fromNowOn.promiseToSelf();
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