Nail Art

What makes nail art appealing?  How do people have the patience to paint their own nails, worse still, other people's nails? All those beads and glitter on such a tiny area like the nail on your little finger feels like a bad investment in terms of value of effort per sqcm area. Pinterest is full of extreme innovations of this art form, the rates for these works of art range anywhere between $10-$500 at those special "nail spas"!  "Nail Spas"??? Really??!?! spas for nails now, what's next? Eyebrow spa? Earlobe spa? Looking at the specializations in these fields, I am beset with severe doubts on the continuation of human species as one of the intelligent life forms on the planet!

I wonder how I would be able scratch my head if I got $100 worth of art work on my nails. How do you type? or peel oranges? or eat basic finger food? Do all those accessories on the nails get stuck to gloves or other clothing? Long nails (real or fake) are already a maintenance nightmare, now add to that all the jazzy designs! The videos on youtube or facebook showing the multiple steps of creating exquisite nail art are so misleading, they magnify the nail on the little finger 100x. It looks great and "satisfying" to watch a time lapsed, insanely magnified video, but in real time?!

Toe nails are on a different level altogether. I have never been able to apply nail polish on the littlest of the toenails of anyone, I cant imagine all these modern art pieces on that real estate! There are the cheaper versions of these art works in the form of stickers, which is atleast easy to apply, stick it on the nail and forget about where it gets transferred to when you try to go about your everyday tasks. Do we already have socks that keep the toenail art in place? or some kind of covers for the toe nails to retain their masterpieces even when we need wear toe-closed footwear?

Nail art, it seems, is not for weak hearted! You need to have the patience to... nail it!!!

To the guy who interviewed me

• Dude, get a life. 
• You don't get brownie points the few times I said "I don't know". Ideally, I should be rewarded for honesty.
• Things I worked on or like may not be the ones on your "to learn" or "I'm an expert" list. Got to live with it. It's alright.
• I know you want to get an idea how I might fit in a role. Be realistic about what you can learn in the 30-45 minutes. FYI, this is India, the land of arranged marriages, where people only meet for a couple of minutes before tying the knot (OK I'm exaggerating, a lot). The interview is but a minuscule issue here :D
• "You have no commitments no?" -- seriously dude!??! SERIOUSLY!?!  Next time, I will bring a list.
• "How much of X do you know?" Replace X with your favorite technology/tool. I'll give you a hint, Core Java :D I could write an entire book about this. How do I quantify how much I know? You didnt like it when I mentioned the different stuff I've worked on calling it "experience" not "how much". I lost it at that point, dude. I wanted to walk out but decided against it, thinking I will let the HR know how much of a jerk you are.
• It felt more like dealing with a first grader with a bad temper than a lead/architect/whatever the fancy title you got! I'm pretty sure you thought I was sarcastic. You're not wrong. I was.
• I'm waiting for the day when I interview you. I won't be such a jerk! Relax. 
• Interviewing candidates is a skill, you need to work on it. Its not a rapid fire quiz round where you shoot(vomit rather!) questions and expect me to say "Pass" all the time.
• If only I knew your email id, or at least your full name, I could have forwarded a link to this page and have you read it :D

I'm anti social

I am trying to get back to writing after a gap of about 4 years. Truth be told, I didnt miss blogging at all. There were so many other things that kept me busy. A sudden realization that I should have a spot to spew got me back here :P.

I realized I'm not really "Facebook" social but social otherwise(yeah! got to take my word!). I "like" certain pages and check those out now and then but don't feel the need to update the world (well, my friends, really) about what I'm doing every (minute of the) day. Much has been said across many portals about the different types of characters who show up on Facebook and make life interesting.  So I will not pollute my blog with more detailed explanation of such personalities. I don't want to find fault with these different FB personalities - they do keep me entertained now and then.

Oh I don't find Twitter inviting either.  Whats with the word limit and making 1/n's?! I'm not printing your tweets. I don't like it. Oh yeah, now there's an app that does the 1/n's for you, so you don't have to do it yourself! Of course there are visible benefits. I can scold/scream/shout/malign people/stuff/institutions/everything else that has a twitter handle. The main reason I've been off twitter is that the minute I think of writing something I'm never done within the word limit and the 1/n isn't something I want to be doing.

I can't miss Instagram. I'm not going to use it. Not the real "new gen".

There are celebrities, governments, institutions and everything except extinct species that have  a social media blueprint. So considering our current "social norms" dictate  you have active FB, twitter, instagram , tinder(?) (and everything else that I have no clue of ), I can safely label myself an "anti social".

an·ti·so·cial

ˌan(t)ēˈsōSHəl,ˌan(t)īˈsōSHəl/

adjective

adjective: anti-social

1. 1. 

   contrary to the laws and customs of society; devoid of or antagonistic to sociable instincts or practices.

   
   

Magizhchi

thirumbi vandhutten nu solllu

M-O-M

Read that upside down W-O-W. Now take that and multiply by 2. Your duties just increased manifold.

I've come to appreciate (I promise. I do) all that moms do. It's not simple. It's more complex than 'complex' can probably mean. It redefines priorities, makes or breaks opinions and makes way for earth shattering resolve and commitment. 

I've dealt with strangers giving me 'the' looks while trying to calm down a tantrum throwing 2yr old who insisted that her car seat was 'not safe'. I've had to learn to change diapers under all circumstances with enviable efficiency - all the while managing not to lose my cool even though the screams would set off scared adults running right out of the restrooms! I've had to deal with the pangs of dropping of a totally dependent toddler at daycare and leave to work feeling guilty about what I had just done. I've had my creativity torn to tatters while trying to rake up stories about dinosaurs,monsters and all possible scary creatures just so my toddler would eat that morsel of food. I've stayed up many nights trying to soothe a fussy child. I don't know where I had and still have the energy and patience for all this.

I've had my moments of elation and pure unadulterated fun. Like the moments when my preschooler told her teacher 'My mommy makes the best dinners - but I don't eat it' or when she came running into my arms at the end of day when I showed up for pickup. The sheer joy of listening to her singing with garbled lyrics was limitless. Her bumblebee song went like this 'I'm bringing home my baby bumblebee . Won't my mommy beecha kada mee!' It took sometime to understand the last bit was 'be so proud of me!' Her naughty side shows up every now and then. Like the time she hid my car keys and I wasn't able to find them even after a good 45 mins of searching all possible places. I called the school to tell them I wouldn't be able to drop off because I wasn't able to find my car keys. I got a call back from her teacher - asking me look inside a folded umbrella. Thanks to the attentive teacher - who had been briefed of the plan the day before, I got my car keys back. I turned to face my 3yr old keeping as straight a face possible only to find her rolling on the floor laughing - literally! She once told her teacher we spoke Spanish at home and the confused teacher asked me if I really knew Spanish. She laughed when I told her 'Gracias' and 'Amigo' sort of start and end my vocabulary. To her, Dad's mother tongue is French and her little sister's mother tongue seemed to be crying, at least till she can talk! 

I remember seeing her curious big eyes pop out whenever she was excited, and wondering where have we all lost that flickering sparkle of creativity and inquisitiveness. I relive my childhood in the company of my 4yr old after all the initial 'traumatic' baby years! I find her innocence brush upon me and bring more peace to my everyday life! How much ever I scream (very very rarely, if you're from Child services and reading this) she cuddles up with me and hugs me tight in her sleep! ahh...those moments! She is soon to be 5 and still doesn't stop amazing me with her thoughtfulness and questions. 'Who is Sita's mommy?' she asked me when she heard Ramayana for the first time. I told her 'Mother Earth' is what I remember as learning when I was a kid. 'Really? Planet Earth is a mother?'. I said I will find out more and come back with more accurate answers. 'That sounds like a plan, Amma!'. More recently, I was told not to stay alone at home because 'Ravana takes away all those who are alone at home'. I made a mental note of always sharing home-brewed stories about dinosaurs and Dora and leave mythology for later.

I confess to being studious in my younger days. At one point in my life, I was able to vividly recollect how  each of my school years went, what I scored in what grade and subject and what not! Not any more. My memory landscape has been altered considerably. The things I care to remember now seem much more profound than that grade I earned after two straight night outs for Electrical Sciences course. Immunization schedule has replaced course schedule and the day care number is on my  speed dial. Not that I'm out of touch with the non-mommy side of life, but just that this is more cherishable, somehow. I do fondly recall my school and college days and all the friends I've made and fun we've had through those times, and miss those carefree days. In the end, it's all part of growing up!

Welcoming myself!

Pheww! I didnt realize the hiatus has been so long! How time flies and how things change, more importantly, how we evolve! I'll never stop being amazed. I plan to extend my amazement and celebration of all that there's in life out here in e-print-where the old never fades and new never ceases to come by!

Characters - II

No complaining in this post - may be not much!

I've noticed a new breed of individuals, the eager-yay-sayers. They agree to everyone's point of view.Why would that not be ok? It's not bad, it's just plain uninteresting if someone were to agree to whatever you say (Ok, sometimes atleast - It's quite a different issue if someone always disagrees with everyone). But, what if this person also agrees to all those statements that are logical opposites as well? Welcome to the problem! If I were one of those folks, I would probably be yay-saying-to-everyone to just avoid confrontations (I know my opinion, why care expressing it!) or simply to please people. And the reason might well depend on the situation ( the person concerned and/or the topic,place of conversation, and/or who are all within earshot and/or whether there is something more pressing to be taken care of and/or number of other things).

On a connected note, why would you want to let everyone know that you have an opinion on a topic in the first place and secondly, bother expressing it? It seems almost a natural exercise to hold opinions and to express those at appropriate times. It seems ok not to have an opinion on all things under the sun, but there are some subsets of issues on which majority of people have opinions on. (I guess I just opened a can of worms) I can understand the implications of collective opinions, as in a democracy, which works for (or atleast meant to work for) the greatest good for the greatest number. How about individual opinions that an average person holds and/or expresses? They may help in providing feedback, for example, what is your opinion on this new book I wrote?

Opinions form an integral part of one's personality. Creating an opinion often involves analyzing an issue thoroughly, weighing the pros and cons and then taking a decision on the issue- do I support or not? What is the reasoning behind my decision?  'I dont like baseball' is an opinion which probably came after wondering 'Do I understand how this sport is played?, Do I feel happy/overjoyed when I watch the sport? etc etc'  - answers to which lead to the above mentioned 'opinion'.

Now, why do we express opinions? The answer is subjective and depends on a lot of factors - context of conversation, people and situations involved etc. In some cases it's best to express one's opinion and in some other cases, leaving it unsaid seems wiser. Expressing opinions makes it easy (again, this is subjective) for others to deal with the person. (I know you don't like policy X, I will not touch upon it or I know you are not in favor of policy X, I will talk about it more to understand why). What if they don't want to express their opinions? You're pushed to assuming a context that may not be true. Ahhh....there's more to this, may be I will revisit at some other time!

 

Characters - I

The 'I know it all and I will make sure you know what that means' attitude

It irks me no end when I see displays of this attitude. There is nothing these people do not know. Really. NOTHING. They need to give you a solution for whatever you tell them, even if you weren't articulating a problem in the first place. For instance, 'I'm graduating next month' is a statement that can revoke responses like 'Oh I tried going for my Master's but the house was a mess and my husband wasnt helping- so I didnt complete' ( Dont know how that relates..but take the benefit of doubt) 'But, you should talk to your professors about looking for jobs and also try working as a volunteer in any company' (Thanks, but no thanks). How about something on the lines of 'Congratulations! Whats lined up next?' or something like that more congenial and 'civil' ? grrr...

If statements evoke such a response, god forbid stating a problem to this bunch of 'helpers'. 'My back really hurts, I dont know what to do' and then would follow an hour long lecture on how different people dealt with their pain ,usually in solitary misery and not even talking about it -(so how did you know they were in pain?) (in)directly hinting that would probably work best for me too.

'We went to see the baby the other day and she was crying' - I think baby-related statements are given special treatment. If the responder is a mom/dad, no three guesses- 'Mine was like that too. I would do blah blah blah..and then she would blah blah blah..it was real hard for me- juggling work and baby and whatnot!' 'when will this end!' screams my heart to those that cant hear...Even if the person isnt a parent yet s/he always is in close contact with someone who is and can relate the passive-parenting experiences just as well as they were first-hand, effectively driving me crazy with so little effort!

I'm inclined to believe that people do this to get one-up in a conversation. Why? I don't know. May be the genes? It does seem to run in the family though. It's really hard to have a good conversation with these geniuses. Any topic you pick, the economy for instance - they know it inside out. Recession, they said, was because of 'swinging economy' (java swing?). Real estate prices go up and down (remember 'swinging'?, thats why). I'm yet to find a topic these people have no ideas on. Genome analysis? No..they will know someone's uncle's cousin's wife's grandma who got an NIH-NSF-(any other alphabets that sound promising) grant for research in exactly same field! and they know about it, you guessed it right, inside out!

This is not to say they cannot be outsmarted. Try not having any meaningful conversations with these folks (no use anyway). One good idea is to randomly dump phrases at them. Whatever their reply is, do not concede. They derive their pleasure/happiness/sense of purpose/whatever when you acknowledge what they blurted out. Instead of acknowledging, throw more random phrases, like 'it depends- what you say is not always true', 'I dont think that works- it's subjective', but beware of yourself starting to 'think' (if at all we can call it that) like them. It could become dangerous. Best strategy of all, is to just smile (or laugh out loud, if you're aggressive enough ;) )- no replies, no questions, just plain energy conservation!

Rest in next!

Disclaimer : Use suggestions at your own risk :)

# 100

I was pleasantly surprised when I logged into my blogger account. So many new options, features since I last logged in, which, by the way was almost an year ago! I must've been really really busy with matters concerning global economical, political, geophysical, metaphysical, psychoanalytic stuff for me to forget even to login to my blog! Nah..None of that is true. Just that my free times were all gobbled up by ..my daughter :) I can't believe she's 3 already.

New places, new people, and more new people in new situations, and different reactions of new people in different conditions..phew..I did miss blogging to provide me some relief and get my thoughts back in order. There's lots to write, lots to opine, lots to whine..I'm making a new start!

Happy Women's Day- though coming in a few days late!

Lest I forget...

In the din that's life, I feel a compelling need to document what dinku(naathi-as she calls herself) 'talks' : Some snippets from her rhymes

1. Baa Baa Black sheep...
yessa yessa 3 bags chull
one chaw master; one chaw dev;
(some babbling here)

2. Tinkle tinkle little staa
how're you
appabo the washa haa
like a diamond e-the-kyyyy

3. ABCD...how're you..HIJK...LMN..P qoo..echh choyy jee..
nowa know abcs
next time..waaa ching ith meee

My all time favorite:

Ockk -a - babyyy....
Oooocckkk -a - babbyy...

How To Argue

To start with, I used to think I was good at arguments until I came across a specimen from an altogether different category--one that does not argue. I havent really reached a point where I can say that these people dont argue either because they dont want to or because they dont know how to. I'm content to assume that this kind doesnt argue for the sole purpose of irritating rational thinkers (like me, of course!) who are prone to brain wrenching 'discussions'.

What, you may ask, is the problem then? Someone refusing to argue is a great thing; especially at these times that demand world PEACE. To trace the answer we need to explore what causes the 'need to argue' in the first place. Undoubtedly, the major cause is accusation-denial. Y does something that is :

a) generally (also universally!) recognized as 'not correct' and
b) something X doesnt like or has affected X in some way, usually the bad way!

In normal circumstances, X blames Y (more rightly so) and Y denies; so they both end up 'arguing'. The real act of 'arguing' usually comprises verbal (sometimes high pitched) claims by both X and Y willing to prove their stand 'correct'. Notice, it becomes a harder task for Y, who has to prove something incorrect as 'correct'. Harder still, if X turns out to be a tad smarter.

So what happens in the case of Y not arguing? X's thought processes go like this:

1. Should I bring it up now?
2. Ok, I know the result, I might as well have one burden less to worry about
(Confronts Y..who, despite knowing what this is going to be about, acts innocent)
3. The initial 'conversation':

X : I want to talk to you about alpha,beta,gamma...
Y : yeah...
X : (Explaining the issue in clear,coherent terms for a full 2 minutes) What you did was not fair..
Y : Ok
(X is reaching closer to limits of patience...Somehow the 'Ok' sounds like 'I dont care what you think..Go get a life now! X says something that will make Y say a couple of more words...Y is just not interested. Y's attention is now more on the laptop and remote control...)
X : Wont you even SAY SOMETHING..?? or waitt...anything for that matter?
Y : Ok
X : 'Ok' is not the answer I want...what about my argument?
Y : I can only say 'Ok'. If you want me to say what you want to hear; tell me what it is.
X : I just told you my problem...you were supposed to have listened to it..
Y : Ok
Sadly, X's patience reserves are exhausted at this point and as X so often rightly decides, the only way to end the 'argument' is yell out all that X can think of and LEAVE as soon as possible.

It's a pity not to argue; more pitiful to try and argue with someone who doesnt!

As you might rightly have guessed, X is I and Y is...err...why mee!!!