The 'I know it all and I will make sure you know what that means' attitude
It irks me no end when I see displays of this attitude. There is nothing these people do not know. Really. NOTHING. They need to give you a solution for whatever you tell them, even if you weren't articulating a problem in the first place. For instance, 'I'm graduating next month' is a statement that can revoke responses like 'Oh I tried going for my Master's but the house was a mess and my husband wasnt helping- so I didnt complete' ( Dont know how that relates..but take the benefit of doubt) 'But, you should talk to your professors about looking for jobs and also try working as a volunteer in any company' (Thanks, but no thanks). How about something on the lines of 'Congratulations! Whats lined up next?' or something like that more congenial and 'civil' ? grrr...
If statements evoke such a response, god forbid stating a problem to this bunch of 'helpers'. 'My back really hurts, I dont know what to do' and then would follow an hour long lecture on how different people dealt with their pain ,usually in solitary misery and not even talking about it -(so how did you know they were in pain?) (in)directly hinting that would probably work best for me too.
'We went to see the baby the other day and she was crying' - I think baby-related statements are given special treatment. If the responder is a mom/dad, no three guesses- 'Mine was like that too. I would do blah blah blah..and then she would blah blah blah..it was real hard for me- juggling work and baby and whatnot!' 'when will this end!' screams my heart to those that cant hear...Even if the person isnt a parent yet s/he always is in close contact with someone who is and can relate the passive-parenting experiences just as well as they were first-hand, effectively driving me crazy with so little effort!
I'm inclined to believe that people do this to get one-up in a conversation. Why? I don't know. May be the genes? It does seem to run in the family though. It's really hard to have a good conversation with these geniuses. Any topic you pick, the economy for instance - they know it inside out. Recession, they said, was because of 'swinging economy' (java swing?). Real estate prices go up and down (remember 'swinging'?, thats why). I'm yet to find a topic these people have no ideas on. Genome analysis? No..they will know someone's uncle's cousin's wife's grandma who got an NIH-NSF-(any other alphabets that sound promising) grant for research in exactly same field! and they know about it, you guessed it right, inside out!
This is not to say they cannot be outsmarted. Try not having any meaningful conversations with these folks (no use anyway). One good idea is to randomly dump phrases at them. Whatever their reply is, do not concede. They derive their pleasure/happiness/sense of purpose/whatever when you acknowledge what they blurted out. Instead of acknowledging, throw more random phrases, like 'it depends- what you say is not always true', 'I dont think that works- it's subjective', but beware of yourself starting to 'think' (if at all we can call it that) like them. It could become dangerous. Best strategy of all, is to just smile (or laugh out loud, if you're aggressive enough ;) )- no replies, no questions, just plain energy conservation!
Rest in next!
Disclaimer : Use suggestions at your own risk :)
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